Name: Lauren
Nickname: don’t
Occupation: writing
2nd occupation: making schizophrenia look cute
3rd occupation: not actually having schizophrenia
4th occupation: angering people on the internet by joking about mental health issues
5th occupation: making bipolar disorder seem charming
6th occupation: not learning from my mistakes
Mr. Pickles the cat: died of being a thousand
Mr. Pickles the cat’s voice: I still do it and I don’t care; he served in both World Wars so it’s one of the dignities afforded him
Big Ruth the dog: still big-Ruthing
Saturn the cat: found by Big Ruth; generally an inferior copy of Mr. Pickles as he does not have hyperthyroidism, dementia, large bald spots, a tendency to scream into drains or stand on you while you are sleeping, is neither blind nor deaf and has never committed cat sexual assault
So you’re still ‘interesting’: aren’t I though